After suffering a tragic masturbation accident, Talia has been luxuriating in intellectual obscurity, occasionally writing snarky essays and designing absurd cocktail recipes.

More seriously, I want to meet your weird side. Let's make our time as fun and interesting as we can.

And to be blunt, I’m a petite half-asian (5'1") with small feet (IT 37), perfect eyesight (20/20), and the best butt.

Incall: +$200 (deposit required, SF only)
Extensions in-date are $500/hour.
1 hour: $1200 (Yes, you read that right)
1.5 hours: $900 I don’t like to commute.
2 hours: $1200 I like the part where we meet
3 hours: $1600 and begin to finally connect.
4 hours: $2000 Let’s not rush that part,
6 hours: $2800 let’s take our time and savor it.
North Bay: +$200 (deposit required)
San Jose or South Bay: +$300 (deposit required)

12 hours, daytime: $5000
14 hours, night time: $5000
24 hours: $6500
If we get along well, let’s discuss a longer visit!

The Ground Rules

I require two references from providers you’ve met within the past six months. If you don’t have references available, I might still be able to meet you. In that case, please provide me with your full name, phone number, and LinkedIn profile or picture of your ID. If it’s our first time meeting, keep in mind that the screening process takes time — I won’t be able to make a same day appointment.

All incalls require a $500 deposit, payable in cryptocurrency, uber giftcards, or amazon giftcards (send to If you have to cancel less than 24 hours before our meeting, I require a cancellation fee of 50%.

The donation should be placed in a plain white envelope. In public, do not mention the envelope, but provide it discreetly, like in a gift bag or with a birthday card. In private, leave it somewhere in plain sight and excuse yourself to the restroom.  

Favorite Dining

SF: Tosca, Prospect, Quince, Kusakabe, Samovar Tea Lounge
I’d enjoy trying Flour+Water, Tin, Benu, Bouche, or Rintaro with you for my first time.
East Bay: Chez Panisse, Oliveto, Millenium
I still need to try Pucquio and Ippuku!

Favorite Things

Dandelion chocolate, blue bottle coffee, universal love and compassion, merlot, bourbon

Giftcards for Bluebella, Lululemon, and Revolve are cherished.
Amazon wishlist

Favorite people

Abigail Glass will make you feel like you’re on drugs in the absolute best way.

Mara Blake is the most badass dancer, lithe and on fire. Do you like intense? I do.


If we’ve met before, email me at to set up our next meeting. The more info you include up front, the sooner we’ll be able to see each other! I love personal emails that show me your honest you.

Follow me on Twitter. I regularly update it with new(d) pictures to show you that I’m a real person after all.

Speaking of snarky intellectualism, here's my writing.